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When you are 4 years old, there are really very few things in life that you have sole control over. Parental control over just about everything is foremost. Some children are ready for more control over their own lives, and bladder and bowel control are one way to show they can be responsible. What else is she expected to do, independently and daily, for which a lot of attention (good or bad) is paid? For example, is she allowed to choose her own clothes? Or do you as a concerned parent influence her decision by denying a plaid and floral combination, etc.?